When I was job hunting in my 20s, hiring managers loved asking me to describe myself in one word.
My go-to was resourceful. When I want to do something, I find a way to get it done. I can teach myself almost anything. I’m not afraid to plumb the depths of the internet for the right niche wiki or YouTube tutorial. The word scrappy also applies.
When I was 11 and wanted to spruce up my Neopets user page, I taught myself basic HTML and CSS. I pirated a design program from Limewire (sorry, mom and dad) and learned to make graphics for my favorite fandoms.
When I was 16, I started a YouTube channel where I posted book reviews, Doctor Who episode recaps, vlogs, and other videos. I never had more than a few hundred subscribers, but it was a blast.
When I was 17, I taught myself to play the ukulele. It was 2011 — peak Zooey-Deschanel-ukulele-twee era. (In some of my senior photos, I’m posing with my ukulele. I may share a photo if bribed.)
When I was 22 and unemployed and completely broke, I self-published a flash fiction anthology. I solicited submissions and paid writers and illustrators for their contributions. I edited, proofread, designed, and formatted. I learned motion graphics to animate a promo video, and I launched a successful (if modest) crowdfunding campaign.
When I was 28, I launched my freelancing career and learned a whole new set of skills: accounting, pitching, project management, self-employment taxes, etc.
Clearly, I’m willing and eager to learn new things and to do them myself. And I’ve never let limited resources (money, time, or otherwise) stand in my way when I have an idea.
But lately, I’m scared I might be losing some of that spirit. I find I’m more sensitive to risk and more concerned about how I’m perceived. I’m constantly worried about money. In my 30s, the possibility of failure doesn’t feel motivating anymore. It just feels unsafe.
Practicality is part of the problem — I know more about the world, so I talk myself out of things that seem too audacious. Who do I think I am, dreaming so big? I have bills to pay.
Sometimes, practicality gives way to outright cynicism. About the state of the world, about the limits of my skills. It’s not cynical to say I simply can’t do everything myself. There’s a part of me who still feels she has something to prove, but there’s a growing part who’s tired of acting like she doesn’t need any help.
The honest reality is that I’ve always needed help, and I’ve always had it.
I couldn’t have started my YouTube channel without borrowing my dad’s video camera.
I couldn’t have self-published a book when I was broke and unemployed without my parents letting me live at home and supporting me during my job hunt.
I couldn’t have started freelancing without a safety net that included my spouse and his income. (I know many people do freelance without this particular safety net — I’m just not sure I, personally, would have taken the leap without it.)
I’ve also had countless supportive and enthusiastic friends and family members who encourage me and contribute to my projects. I’ve had invaluable help from therapists and mentors and peers. I am not a one-woman show.
Let me be clear: outside support doesn’t nullify scrappiness. Tenacity and grit still play a major role in my achievements (and yours!). But I think one of the keys to rediscovering resourcefulness is to lean into that support instead of away from it. To acknowledge it as the gift that it is instead of yearning to be truly self-sufficient.
And in the spirit of wasting no time practicing what I preach: I have a favor to ask!
I’m dreaming up big, exciting plans for Wishful Working, and I would really like some testimonials for the website and social media. If you enjoy these emails, would you take a few minutes to share your thoughts?
Your support means the world to me.
See you next week,
Kara
Out of Office
What I do when I’m not at my desk
Reading: I finished The Artist’s Way! To be fair, I kind of did a “speed run” of it, but I plan to keep up with morning pages and artists dates for a while.
Watching: We started watching Chernobyl, the 2019 HBO mini series. Each episode is an hour-long panic attack, but it is absolutely gripping. I am blown away by the performances.
Doing: Thinking about stationery. Buying stationery. Talking about stationery. What else is new?
Kara Detwiller is a writer and artist based in small-town Saskatchewan. She specializes in long-form content writing for enterprise SaaS, cybersecurity, and manufacturing clients. She is also working on her first novel, among other creative pursuits. To connect, reply to this email or find Kara on LinkedIn.
Why Wishful Working? I want to help people thrive in a world obsessed with work and productivity. Together, we’re expanding the definition of productivity, rediscovering life balance, and exploring the many kinds of work that make life possible.
