In defense of dilly-dallying

I’m a bit of a dawdler.

I like sleeping in and slow mornings. I’m not a breakfast-skipper, and a protein bar doesn’t cut it. Most days, I make eggs and toast, brew a cup of Yorkshire Tea, and do the NYT crossword on my iPad. I rarely start working before 10am. I am a huge advocate for the afternoon nap. 

I have also purposefully designed my freelance business to minimize the amount of meetings/calls I’m in, and I’m usually at my desk for fewer than 25 hours/week. 

I used to feel a lot of shame about these habits and preferences, and I still struggle sometimes. I secretly wonder if I’m just lazy. But I know I’m a reliable, trusted collaborator. I pay attention to details and deliver quality work. I’m not a slacker or a shirker. 

I’m just profoundly disinterested in hustling, grinding, and filling every available minute of my life with activity and productivity.

It seems like the pace of life has been accelerating for many years, and AI is speeding things up even more. A Google search used to seem fast, but now, an AI chatbot can often answer my queries even faster and more thoroughly, with organized sources and suggestions to guide further research.

I’m not a luddite, but a growing part of me thinks we were never meant to live like this — our brains were never meant to receive so much information at such a rapid pace. And there truly is no end to the amount of content available for consumption. A recent study from Cornell found that TikTok is generating over 4.8 million posts per hour.

But I must admit that my personal media habits are at odds with my preference for a slower-paced life. I’m lowkey addicted to my phone. I’ve been vaguely aware of this for a while, but I’ve become acutely aware of it in the last few weeks.

One specific thought keeps entering my mind:

No one reaches the end of their life and thinks, “I wish I had spent more staring at screens.”

I’ve heard the term “dopamine detox” used to describe the idea of fasting from technology or breaking phone addiction. But a “detox” isn’t really the goal — it’s actually not physically possible, nor would it be desirable to eliminate a hormone/neurotransmitter that plays such an important role in many body functions. 

The idea people are getting at with “dopamine detox” is this: intentionally recalibrating the brain’s pleasure and reward system — shifting from overconsumption of overstimulating media to calmer sources of pleasure and enjoyment.

Slowing down. Putting your phone away. Enjoying “analog” hobbies. Moving your body. Making art. Working with your hands. Connecting with other people in an intentional, undistracted way.

The other day, I took a break from an incredibly busy day of at my computer and walked to the library to return some books. The library is only about three minutes away, and it wasn’t even open at the time. I just needed a little errand and a reason to leave the house. A side quest, if you will. 

It was late afternoon, and I noticed how beautiful the sunlight looked, filtering through tree branches. When I’m overstimulated and glued to my phone, I don’t notice things like that. 

It seems the crazier the world gets, the more I desire slowness and peace. The more I embrace dawdling and dilly-dallying and allowing life to unfold at its own unhurried pace.

This topic feels appropriate for the first week of autumn. Summer tends to be busy, but now we’re easing into the final few months of the year. It’s getting colder. It’s soup season. It’s the perfect time to embrace a slower pace.

The perfect time to dilly-dally.

See you next week,

Kara

P.S. Next week’s edition of Wishful Working will be a guest post from my friend Alyssa at Time Intentional! It’s all about what to do when your career isn’t feeling intentional or aligned with your values and goals. You’re gonna love it. And I’m writing a guest post for Time Intentional on 10/5 — sign up so you don’t miss it!

Out of Office

What I’m doing when I’m not working

• I’m very excited for my husband to be finished with harvest. By this time next week, he might be done! He’s been in the combine until almost midnight the past few nights.

• I am obsessed with Richard Scarry. I love how his art and characters reflect a simpler, slower way of life:

P.S. Got a question about self-employment, anti-hustle culture, business books, or something else?

Kara Detwiller is a writer and creative based in small-town Saskatchewan. She specializes in long-form content writing for enterprise SaaS, cybersecurity, and manufacturing clients. She is also working on her first novel, among other creative pursuits. To connect, reply to this email or find Kara on LinkedIn. To support her work on Wishful Working, share this email with someone or buy her a “coffee.”

Why Wishful Working? I write this newsletter because I want to see more people enjoy a life not centered around work. For some, the path to freedom and flexibility is through self-employment, but we also need to challenge cultural norms and champion healthier working conditions and work/life balance for all types of workers.