Settling is a secret superpower

When it comes to shopping, I am a hunter. 

I’m not just looking for the best deal but the exact right combination of features at the right price. 

When I was shopping for a sofa in 2020, I made a spreadsheet comparing various sofa models at different price points. When I was shopping for a wedding dress in 2021, I used Google slides to store screenshots of dress options, and I eventually found my dream dress for $60.

I will spend days, weeks, or even months looking for the right item. (I’ve been shopping for the perfect travel duffel for over a year…)

I was most recently on the hunt for my first “nice” camera. I’ve had many point-and-shoot digital cameras since my teen years, but I decided I want to get into hobby photography with a nice mirrorless camera.

Let me tell you. Camera shopping is the absolute dream for a hunter-shopper like me. There are so many excellent brands to look at. So many features and specs to consider. So much camera snobbery to wade through on Reddit. 

But I’ll admit, I started to get a little overwhelmed.

The longer I shopped and weighed my options, the more I started to think of a study I heard about years ago regarding “maximizers vs. satisficers.” 

In this study, Barry Schwartz (whose book I still need to read) compared people who spend a long time carefully and deliberately weighing their options (maximizers) with people who settle on a “good enough” option and therefore make decisions faster (satisficers).

The research revealed that maximizers are generally less satisfied with consumer decisions and more likely to engage in social comparison, and they experience more regret and buyer’s remorse. Satisficers, by contrast, were found to be happier, more optimistic, and more satisfied with their decisions.

At first, this seems counterintuitive.

You’re telling me that someone who spends weeks combing vintage shops for the perfect dupe for Chris Evans’s ivory fisherman sweater from Knives Out might end up less satisfied than the person who nabbed the first cream sweater they found at the first thrift store they popped in?!

But it actually makes sense.

While I love looking for the perfect option, my maximizer tendencies don’t always serve me. I can tell I’m hyper aware of the opportunity costs of my decisions. I know exactly what I’m missing out on because I left no stone unturned. It also can take a long time to make a decision — time that might be better spent enjoying whatever I end up choosing.

Even worse, my indecision often leads to complete inaction. If I can’t find the perfect thing, I sometimes give up, which is fine (probably good) in a retail context but sucks when I’m combing through creative ideas or trying to make a life decision.

I suppose I’m somewhere between recovering maximizer and aspiring satisficer. As I’ve become more aware of my perfectionism, I’m trying to be more intuitive and spontaneous. I practice these skills at ice cream shops, where I commit to enjoying my Mississippi Mud without wondering if Midnight Dark Chocolate might have been infinitesimally tastier.

Author Simone Stolzhoff expertly applies the principle of satisficing to work life in his book The Good Enough Job, which I loved and wholeheartedly recommend. He argues that one’s career doesn’t need to (and maybe shouldn’t) be the main thing that gives life meaning and that we might be better off “settling” for an okay job and channeling our passion and energy into family, hobbies, and other pursuits. 

Ultimately, settling is about lowering your (probably unrealistic) expectations, reducing your list of non-negotiables, and selecting one of the first options that meets your criteria. It’s about not wasting precious time and energy searching for an unattainable ideal.

For small choices, like ordering at a restaurant or ice cream counter, don’t overthink it. In fact, don’t think much at all. Trust your gut — literally. After all, you can always try Midnight Dark Chocolate next time.

For bigger decisions, like career pivots or cross-country moves, you obviously need to weigh your options. But don’t get stuck trying to optimize your way to a perfect outcome. And definitely don’t fall into comparison traps.

And for creative pursuits, the aphorism is, unfortunately, true: perfect is the enemy of good. At some point, you have to leave Tinker Town and push through the nagging feeling that you could have unlocked 5% improvement with more tinkering.

I need this reminder more than anyone. 😂

See you next week,

Kara

Out of Office

What I’m doing when I’m not working

• I don’t want to leave you hanging — I did decide on a camera, and it just arrived on my doorstep yesterday! I bought a Fujifilm X-M5 for its combination of features, price, and availability (several Fuji models are on major backorder everywhere, and I didn’t want to wait). I’m so excited to start taking photos!

• I had an awesome time visiting family and friends in Iowa over Father’s Day weekend, and I turned 32 on June 17th! I absolutely love being in my thirties. 😎

• We’ve been rewatching some of the Mission: Impossible movies in anticipation of the latest release. Forever bummed that Tom Cruise is a scientologist weirdo because I love his work.

P.S. Got a question about self-employment, anti-hustle culture, business books, or something else?

Kara Detwiller is a writer and creative based in small-town Saskatchewan. She specializes in long-form content writing for enterprise SaaS, cybersecurity, and manufacturing clients. She is also working on her first novel, among other creative pursuits. To connect, reply to this email or find Kara on LinkedIn. To support her work on Wishful Working, share this email with someone or buy her a “coffee.”

Why Wishful Working? I write this newsletter because I want to see more people enjoy a life not centered around work. For some, the path to freedom and flexibility is through self-employment, but we also need to challenge cultural norms and champion healthier working conditions and work/life balance for all types of workers.